The Life and Death of Lauren Conway: A Companion to Without Mercy Read online

  Lauren froze. Was he talking to her? Was his off-handed reference to loyalty aimed at her? She swallowed hard and from the corner of her eye noticed Rolfe and Missy staring at her. Their expressions were blank, but their gazes… Sweet Jesus, if looks could kill…

  You’d be a dead woman!

  Lynch continued, “I’m quoting loosely from Proverbs, here, but the heart of the message is that we have to be true to ourselves, true to our fellow man, true to our friends—” He motioned widely to encompass everyone in the room, “–-and of course true to God.” A shiver slid down Lauren’s spine as his gaze caught hers, then moved past. “Now,” Lynch said, finding his prayer book and laying his Bible on a side table. “Let’s take the prayer on page fifteen, the one about loyalty.”

  Was it her imagination or did Rolfe’s lips actually twist in some kind of perverse understanding?

  Lauren’s fingers felt numb as she flipped through the pages of her prayer book and when she glanced up, she swore Lynch was staring straight at her.

  Oh — God.

  Everyone bowed their heads and read in unison and the words about loyalty and strength of character echoed through her mind. Why had Lynch picked this prayer tonight? And that quote from Proverbs. Was it for her? A subtle reminder of the traitor she was? Or just a coincidence? She swallowed hard and fought the compulsion to flee the room as fast as her legs would carry her. No, she had to maintain her composure. For now.

  But she had to leave Blue Rock Academy.

  And she was pretty damned sure she had to leave tonight.

  ¤ ¤ ¤

  Pretending that Lauren had no effect on him, the leader cast a glance at her and felt that same wrench deep in his gut he always experienced when he studied her. She was beautiful. Her hair was dark and damp. He remembered being with her in the rain, kissing the drops from her eyelids, her cheeks, then sliding his lips lower as he peeled away her drenched parka and sweater. The taste of rainwater against her flushed skin, the hint of salt as he’d slipped his tongue between her breasts… Now, in the rec room, with dozens of people in the room, he tried his best not to stare. Firelight illuminated her perfect features and he knew she, too, was attempting to avoid meeting his gaze.

  Smart girl.

  Too smart. With an IQ that rivaled his own.

  And too damned sexy. The feel of her naked body squirming against his was a rush like none other.

  He felt beads of perspiration along his spine.

  His damned cock twitched.

  No! Not here. Not now.

  Quicky, he thrust the erotic image from his mind.

  He set his jaw with renewed effort and silently reminded himself that she’d used him.

  When he looked down at his prayer book, he mouthed the words that swam before his eyes. But his brain thundered at her betrayal and a cold, white rage burned through his soul. She’d made a fool of him, a mockery of all that he believed in, all that he’d worked for.

  He couldn’t get her out of his mind, couldn’t ignore the wanton desire that fired his blood every time their gazes locked.

  He glanced up one last time and caught her staring at him. In that split second, he let his guard down, then quickly looked away. Pain cut through his soul. He knew what he had to do.

  There was no doubt. No room for discussion.

  Like it or not, Lauren Conway would have to die.

  Chapter Two

  Lauren couldn’t race out of the prayer meeting fast enough. Seconds after the final “Amen” had been whispered, she was out the door and heading back to the dorm.

  Her friends had to hurry to catch up with her.

  “Where’s the fire?” Nell demanded, half-jogging as she fell into step with Lauren.

  “I’ve just got a lot of things to do.” Fear propelled Lauren; she’d felt the hostility in the meeting and it still lingered. She cast Nell a “don’t ask” glance. She couldn’t get into it right now.

  The wind was picking up, its breath raw and cold as it howled through the canyon and churned up the dark waters of the lake.

  Her breath fogging in the air, Banjo was complaining about an algebra assignment and Lucy was worried that the boyfriend she’d left back home in Portland was cheating on her.

  Nell thrust her hands deep into her pockets. “Don’t worry about him. He’s a loser.”

  “You don’t even know Brad,” Lucy shot back, wrapping her arms around her waist as they headed toward the dorm. Her black hair shined blue under the few lamp posts that had begun to glow.

  Nell rolled her eyes. “Sor—ree. You clearly don’t trust him.”

  “He wouldn’t cheat if he really loved you,” Nona Vickers added as she caught up with their group. She was, as always, fingering the cross dangling from a thin gold chain at her neck. She fell into step with them, despite a warning glare from Lucy.

  Nona had never fit with the rest of the girls in their group and Lauren had never really gotten a bead on her, didn’t know what the slightly odd girl was thinking. Yet she insisted on hanging around, never taking the hint that she wasn’t part of their tightly knit group.

  Oblivious to the fact that no one cared what she thought, Nona advised, “You should be able to trust your boyfriend.” She lifted a slim shoulder at the simplicity of the problem.

  “Bite me,” Lucy muttered as they reached the dorm.

  With an I-was-only-trying-to-help shrug and that bland, uncomfortable smile that allowed a glimpse of her too small teeth, Nona slipped through the open door to the dorm.

  “Grrr.” Lucy glared at Nona’s back as they followed the supercilious girl inside and all of them headed up the stairs. “Who asked for her opinion anyway?” She said it loud enough for Nona and everyone around them to hear.

  “She’s such a poser,” Nell whispered as they reached the second floor.

  With one last haughty look over her shoulder, Nona peeled off on the second floor. The metal door banged shut behind her, echoing through the staircase.

  Lucy, who was always a little nervous anyway, seemed to have taken Nona’s well-placed barb to heart. “You know, I hate to admit it, but she’s right. If I love him, I should be able to trust Brad. I should.”

  “He has to earn it.” Banjo walked up the final flight of steps, her guitar in its camouflage case across her back. “Haven’t you been listening in group? Isn’t that what we all have to do? Earn trust? Earn respect?” Her green eyes twinkled beneath the shag of her bangs. “Such horse shit.” She headed into her room and the lock clicked loudly behind her.

  Lauren left Lucy fretting about Brad’s wandering eye as she unlocked her own door and slipped into the room. Everything looked the same as when she’d left. Her pillow was still wadded in the corner of the bed, the impression of her body where she’d leaned against it still visible and all of the papers, books and pens she’d left on her desk were in the exact same position. Her laptop was still on, an open invitation if anyone was looking. The images running across its monitor were pictures of Lauren in various activities.

  Everything appeared just as she’d left it.

  And it felt the room hadn’t been searched. She’d memorized the exact position of her things before leaving and with her nearly photographic memory, she could ascertain if anything had been disturbed.

  It hadn’t.

  Nor was there any odd scent, no residual evidence that an intruder had stepped into her supposedly private domain.

  Fleetingly she wondered what neat-nick, by-the-rules Dean Burdette would think of the messy room. No doubt she’d have the hissy fit of all hissy fits.

  Too bad.

  Lauren had more important things to think about. But she couldn’t let on that she was worried; she had to play the game and allow whoever was on the other side of that hidden camera to think nothing was out of the ordinary.

  Acting as if she hadn’t a care in the world, she slid onto her desk chair, picked up her lit book with its dog-eared page of Beowulf and placing one heel on her bed, crossin
g her legs and settled in to study. Or at least pretended to for the next forty-five minutes. She didn’t care about Grendel dying in agony or how she was supposed to write an essay on the monster’s role in the epic poem. Not tonight, not while unseen eyes were noiselessly observing her every move. Aware of the hidden camera, she flipped the pages, but didn’t read a word. She couldn’t. Not when she thought back to chemistry class and her sudden bit of insight that she was a target. His target.

  What a fool she’d been.

  Hoping to block the camera’s view with her body, she closed her textbook with one hand and opened the bottom drawer of her desk with the other. As she pulled out a box of markers, she let her fingers scrape the bottom of the drawer above, knocking down the tiny flash drive she’d stashed there while she had been in the bathroom showering earlier.

  Thank God it was still there!

  Usually, she kept the drive with her at all times, sometimes tucked into the ripped seam of her bra, other times in an empty shampoo bottle, still others stashed in an empty insertion tube for a tampon, but she hadn’t wanted to take a chance that the moisture in the shower room would destroy it tonight, nor that she might be searched before the prayer meeting began. In the past, there had been more than one student pulled out of the group and marched to the medical facilities for a quick drug test or strip search or whatever from that beast Nurse Ayres.

  Lauren shuddered just thinking of the woman.

  A few years north of thirty, Jordan Ayres stood nearly six feet tall and had the body type to suggest she could go toe-to-toe with the reigning cage fighting champion. Though athletic and strong, Lauren didn’t want to mess with her, or lose the jump-drive.

  Now, Lauren’s fingers curled protectively over the drive. The information she’d surreptitiously and meticulously gathered would bring this institution to its knees and she couldn’t chance losing it. Carefully, she slid the jump drive into the pocket of her notebook. From there, if she had to, she’d transfer it.

  Then, stretching, she leaned over the top of her desk to the solitary window of her dorm room and peeked out the blinds. All the while she tried to convince herself that she was imagining things, that her existence, her very life wasn’t in jeopardy.

  “Don’t freak out. Everything’s okay. It’s O-kay,” she whispered to herself.

  But she didn’t believe a word of it.

  She knew. Deep in the darkest regions of her brain, the primeval part that sensed imminent danger, alarm bells were clanging wildly. She needed to run. Get away. As fast as she could from this depraved, dark institution shrouded in self righteousness and secrecy. The dorm was quiet. Aside from the hum of the furnace, she heard nothing but her own unsteady breathing. No conversation nor footsteps in the hallway outside her locked door. Locked! How insane was that? She couldn’t guess how many people had master keys to all the “private” rooms? Two? Six? A dozen? It didn’t matter; the point was that there was no privacy at Blue Rock. Here, a new student was stripped bare-–literally and figuratively.

  She closed her eyes for a second. Listened to the rapid-fire beat of her heart. Calm down, she told herself, letting go of the blinds and hearing them rattle back into position.

  She realized, because of the knowledge she’d gained, the proof of what this school of horrors really was, she was a target. She would have to pay. He would see to it. Personally. Unless she escaped.

  The back of her mouth was desert dry at the thought of his wrath. His need to run her to the ground would be all-consuming. But if he caught her… She bit her lip then let out her breath slowly. She had no doubt he would kill her.

  Because she’d been stupid enough to tease him, to taunt him, to seduce him… and it had all backfired. Oh, God, how it had backfired.

  How could she have let this happen? How had she let her guard down?

  Her heart twisted when she conjured up his image: Tall and athletic. Wide shoulders, slim hips. All male. Corded muscles that moved fluidly as he walked, stretching faded denim. But it had been his face that had gotten to her. Sweet Jesus, that face with his twice-broken nose, thick eyebrows, square jaw and hot, hot eyes.

  Her fingers curled into fists of frustration. I love you slid through her mind, but she steadfastly pushed it aside. She did not love him. Never had. She just had to remind herself of that very important fact.

  His gaze alone could send shivers down her spine.

  From fear?

  Or desire?

  “Both,” she whispered, fighting the terror that was strangling her. It was a losing battle and it showed. Her hand, as she adjusted the blinds was trembling.

  Stop it Lauren! Get a grip! Her fear really pissed her off. She hated being weak. Worse yet, she despised being afraid.

  Though she’d spent the better part of the day convincing herself that she was safe, it wasn’t working. Not after catching the look he’d cast her way in chemistry class this morning. Oh, he’d thought she hadn’t seen his quiet, seething rage, masked as it was, but a tiny tic over his eyebrow had clued her in. Big time. She hadn’t spent the last six weeks trying to gain his notice without being able to read the smallest flicker of emotion on his face.

  Her insides turned to water.

  How would he do it? With his bare hands, his face close to hers, his breath waving over her as he slowly strangled her? Or would it be while they were lying together in his bed, still twined in the sheets and drenched in sweat, their hearts beating in erratic tandem as afterglow began to settle. Was it possible for him to gather the pillow from beneath his head and force it over her face to suffocate her? Or could he possibly be so infuriated, so coldly enraged with her that he would actually take a knife to her throat and watch as her lifeblood seeped out and stained his sheets. Would her last vision would be of him, his pupils dilating in ecstacy as he ended her life?

  “For the love of God, don’t go there,” she reprimanded, but felt a blush climb steadily up her neck. Usually, she wasn’t the kind of girl to be caught up in some kind of sick fantasy like this. She found no romance in unrequited love, no sexual turn-on in brutality, no tempting or titillating seduction in being with a man who could easily kill her.

  And yet here she was.

  Trapped in her own fear and passion.

  She spread the blinds apart with her fingers again.

  Don’t buy into it, Lauren, that’s exactly what he wants. What he expects. Be strong! She set her jaw to keep her lips from quivering as she squinted into the darkness. You’ve got a plan; a way to get out of here. You just have to put it into action a little earlier than you’d hoped. You can do it.

  You have to!

  She snapped off the desk lamp to ensure that she wasn’t backlit as she eyed the sprawling campus again. The rustic-looking buildings, built of cedar, stone and glass, were illuminated by the half moon as it rose behind the mountains and bathed the snow-covered grounds in its hazy, ethereal glow.

  A perfect night for escape.

  Her pulse pounded, almost in counterpoint to the winking shrubbery lights. Panic drummed through her and she tried like crazy to calm down. She just needed a couple of hours, that was all, and then she could get away.

  Or was it already too late?

  She gazed again across the quad to the chapel. Behind a soaring wall of glass, the watery sheen of security lights partially illuminated the altar and magnificent cross that ascended four stories to the cathedral ceiling.

  Her gaze scoured the grounds.

  Somewhere he was out there.

  Hiding.

  Waiting.

  Wanting.

  Her lungs were so tight she could barely breathe. Her heartbeat thundered through her brain and the certainty of danger swept like a demon’s breath over her skin, causing it to pimple in fear.

  Craning her neck, she tried to look past the cluster of classrooms, admin buildings and dorms, to catch a glimpse of the barns, stables and outbuildings. But it was impossible. Only in her mind’s eye could she visualize the inte
rlocking corrals surrounding the stable, beyond which the looming Stygian forest began. Though a thick stands of timber, hidden deep in the woods was an even darker spot, a secret meeting place. Where he reigned.

  Her head pounded with the knowledge that even now he could be convening his disciples, those of his close, inner group who met weekly within the decrepit walls of the forgotten church. There, she knew, he would decide her fate.

  She’d been a part of that secret sect.

  She knew how they reacted to traitors.

  Sweat beaded on her brow. She had to execute the emergency plan she’d conceived weeks ago.

  Then, if she were lucky, she could leave this evil place forever, and expose it and everyone in it for the pathetic, malevolent frauds they all were.

  You have to bring him down, too.

  She steeled herself. Her stupid heart ached and she mentally chastised herself for being the worst kind of fool, for thinking for even a second that he really cared for her.

  Idiot.

  He used you.

  Just like you used him.

  Trouble was, you fell in love with him, didn’t you?

  “Half,” she told herself, her fingers twisting in the cord for the blinds. “Only half in love.”

  But it was a lie.

  Chapter Three

  Lauren had to be sacrificed.

  There was no other option.

  The leader rode through the wintry forest, his mount’s hooves muffled by the snow, the bitter wind slapping his face. He’d considered all alternatives and had come up with only one answer: Lauren had to die.